Blow Jobs.

You have all seen these guys walkin around with the jet-packs strapped to their backs blowing invisible little particles of dirt from one place to another? WTF? I’ve got two of them blowing crap all over the school playground behind my house right now. What are they doing? Who is paying these idiots? In this case I’m sure they work for the city so in effect, the taxes I pay are paying them. I love the high-pitched, whirring, sound they produce at 8 o’clock on a Saturday morning. Awesome. It’s fun to watch. You can see them really focus in on one particularly annoying leaf or pile of dust that just won’t cooperate with them. They try to swoop around the leaf and attack it from a different angle hoping it goes the direction they want it to this time. They could just bend over and pick the thing up but they prefer to waste their time (hey, their getting paid) using their blow-job machines. There they are with their headphones, safety-glasses, work-boots on, blower in hand, engine on back, lugging around cans of gasoline…… Damn, I want that job. I guess, I had that job once when I was a kid. Working under-the-table for some self-employed landscaper. That was the life. Lawn-mowin, weed-wackin, and leaf-blowin the day away. What a valuable service I provided. Wouldn’t want a weed growing to high along the edge of that building. Oh, no! Wouldn’t want that leaf right there in the middle of that parking lot. Hell No! Last fall my neighbor across the street spent almost an entire weekend blowing his yard. He could have raked it up in a half-hour, gotten better exercise, saved himself a bunch of time, not wasted any gasoline, not created any noise pollution and spared me from listening to the his jet-engine all day. I felt like yelling over to him, “Pick up a rake you Jack-ass!” But, in the interest of being neighborly I didn’t. But these idiots in the back are working for me. Glad I don't have a hang-over.